Belief

I had come to the local supplier in Hu-Kou twice this week already to discuss some design issues. This place is some 70 km away from Taipei, and this is a good distance for motorbike riding, which means, yes, I hop on my bike and ride this good distance every time i have to come. Well I just love riding and riding is one of the most enjoyable things to me in the world, surely there will be 101% that I will buy a cool nice ride when my savings account allows me.

I went swimming this morning as usual. Before me and Sylvia left, she changed in the dressing room, and I was waiting outside looking at a motorbike of American style, finding that its styling is actually potential to be modified into a mini chopper (its displacement is 150 cc, and it’s slightly smaller in size, that’s why I call it mini). I thought to myself, ”it can be a chopper! Oh Eugene, no, you’re not going to buy one for modification…you’re not going to…” Lol, of course I’m not going to, though i’m really itchy trying it.

One day in about July or August last year, I was on my motorbike heading back to Taipei from Yulon Motor in San-Yi, that was Friday I still can remember, and the weather was a bit gloomy. When I waited at a traffic light a Mormon stopped by my side, introduced himself and then started talking to me. He invited me to their chapel for talk about “their religious view” (why I said THEIR religious view is because Jesus seems unimportant to them). As the traffic light was gonna turn green, I gave them my number and then pulled away. About two weeks later one of their missionaries in Banciao Chapel gave me a call and asked me when I would be free. Then we set up a weekend for the talk. During that time I wasn’t at all expecting any surprise from this religion as I already decided Jesus is my only one. Plus, I was not that interested in their religious view, and the people I met there were not that…probably life-transformed? They gave me a feeling that, for example, they are happy or excited, but they daren’t let it out like jumping or shouting, and this is what made me think “how so” instead of truly put my eyes on their bible. After that meeting I tried avoiding picking up their phone calls, even name the number “NEVER GET THIS ONE” just in case I would accidentally pick up their call (bad enough, aren’t I?).

It was after 7 or 8 months I deleted the number from my contact list. They hadn’t called me during that period and I decided it was safe to delete it. I thought they probably knew I had been avoiding them. Then yesterday they called me again!!!! As the second or third time I accidentally picked it up! It was another gentleman called Michell, who asked me if I had grown up in the United States because of my accent. To me it was a praise, because that meant my imitation is successful. I told him I treat myself as a monkey always imitating different accents.
“Monkeys do imitate, right?” I said, and he laughed out loud.

Just like the first time he would like to schedule for 20-min talk. Instead of avoiding it, this time I would like to bring some questions to the discussion. After all these years since my faith in Jesus, I think I have become from a believer to a doubter. Still, I believe in the existence of God, but I can’t help wonder why God let certain situations like somebody being murdered by others.

Here are some questions I have listed and will ask the Mormon:
1. What is your purpose being a missionary?
2. What do you expect from this belief?
3. Do you think your life being transformed?
4. Do you have family in this belief as well? If not, what do you expect this belief is going to bring them?
5. Do you missionaries love each other? Why do you love?
6. You don’t need to be taught to love your family, your schoolmates, your childhood friends. Especially childhood friends, you together have gone through something before coming to this point, for example, fighting, hanging out together, chasing after the same girl, running in the rain, singing songs…what is the difference between this love and the love you are told by the bible to give others?
7. Do you pray when you’re suffering something bad? Can I have some examples regarding the badness you have gone through?
8. God loves us, you agree. If you were a captive, or your parents were captives of terrorists, and they were killed. You did pray, but they were still killed in the end. Think about this, and think about those who were killed in the massacre or Sierra Lione, could you please tell me “where was God?” “Does God not love them?”
9. Do you agree with the authority being assigned by God as the bible says? If yes, why does Chinese communist still exist in the world nowadays? Mao Ze-Dong killed millions of people some of whom I believe were good people, does God not love them?
I wouldn’t say I expect the meeting with them, but in certain level I expect the conversation and the outcome after that meeting. I told pastor I will cease going to CCCA to spend some time looking for answers to the questions in my heart. To be objective, I will listen to answers from every possible resource, including Christian and non-Christian.