Oct. 13th, 2012

This is my boy, born on Oct. 13, 2012. If I remember right, one or nearly two years ago I didn't want to have kids at all because of numerous reasons such as kids are hard to deal with, there is no hope for this world, I want a life with freedom. 

But, this all has changed since the day I started dating with my wife Canlace and the day we were foretold about the coming of our son.

Canlace and our son. People say the process of pregnancy and being in labour are a torture, we did experience them...well, at least I did witness them. As soon as I was called into the room what came into my view were my wife with legs open and big amount of blood and busy-in-busy-out nurses and our doctor. I was called in to support and encourage Canlace, but when the contraction came and she started yelling, I found I had no words to encourage her. If I were able to experience that even once in my life, I would probably know how to; but I was speechless but whispering "go! go! push! baby! You're doing great!" 

But...how on earth would I know she was doing great if I have never had such experience?

Foot print. So cute. 

Until the moment our son was born, I had been kind of worried about my wife's condition. She doesn't do much exercise, I had been worried the process might be difficult for her, even losing her life. It was a great relief to see both mum and kid were safe and sound. Then when I sat down, I realised that I have become a father.

My boy. So proud of him, so proud of my wife.

My mum and niece and my son.

This is an internet world. It would probably be hard to find someone who have no facebook accounts. People click "like" after you post your pictures on and give some words when they want. This is of course also what I have been doing especially when my son was born. I want this world to know about the birth of my son, I want people to know that I am proud of him and how great he has changed my life. But then I found I had been a bit depressed when seeing some regular friends didn't post their words and even didn't click "like". I had been wondering: do they not care about me? My son is born!!

Sleeping

But then a word came through my mind it said, "you shouldn't attract people's attention using your son. He is him, and you are you."

Don't know where this word might come from, God or...? But it did awake my awareness that I shouldn't try to be famous through my son. I should be totally proud of him. Whatever he will do, I should not be disappointed just because what he does doesn't go my way. From now on, what I have to do is to put my focus on him, my wife, my family alone. No others. Just us three.

Now Canlace is breastfeeding him, and I am writing my blog. My employer only gives three days to fathers of new born babies and today is my first day, but it's enjoyable just being with my wife and my son.

10:10pm, time to sleep.