i want to be

i want to be a better man before getting involved in another relationship and getting married.

[Book Reading] Tuesdays with Morrie

Two days ago i bought this book written by Mitch Albom, the words on the back of which reminded me of my first pastor John Newman who had been like my second father having taught me about humanity and life meaning in a more profound way. When I was feeling exhausted and dreadful out of work, I stepped in the bookstore near my workplace and found this book. It again reminded me of how much I miss John and how much I have wished to meet him again. After so many years of searching for a wise person who, as I have expected, is able to teach me profoundly, I instead decided to purchase this book and wished to find something which would psycologically and philosophically lead me out, and I'm glad my decision was right.

Here let me quote what I think is wise and right:

----
~page 35
"Dying," Morrie suddenly said, "is only one thing to be sad over, Mitch. Living unhappily is something else. So many of the people who come to visit me are unhappy."
Why?
"Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own.
~ page 36
Most people can't do it. They're more unhappy than me - even in my current condition.
"I may be dying, but I am surrounded by loving, caring souls. How many people can say that?"
I was astonished by his complete lack of self-pity. Morrie, who could no longer dance, swim, bathe, or walk; Morrie, who could no longer answer his own door, dry himself after a shower, or even roll over in bed. How could he be so accepting? I watched him struggle with his fork, picking at a piece of tomato, missing it the first two times - a pathetic scene, and yet I could not deny that sitting in his presence was almost magically serene, the same calm breeze that soothed me back in college."
~page 43
...I had gotten knocked over by a British photographer who barely mutter "Sorry" before sweeping past, his huge metal lenses strapped around his neck. I thought of something else Morrie had told me: "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
I knew he was right.
----

It's good, isn't it?

I stopped at the end of page 43 and then hopped off MRT, thinking about some new important questions that just hit me:
Can religion be wrong?
Can chasing eternal life be the wrong focus?
Without the idea of being afraid of death, will people shift their attention to more caring and loving people around them, and more treasuring what they have and the way they live in their limited lives?
John once told me, "quite often the moral behaviour of non-belivers is better than that of belivers." Why is it so even with God as their center of belief?

Seems the meaning of life is not yet coming to an end, and I am still and will keep searching for the answers.

Appreciation, is one thing one must learn

On the way back home I was chatting with a friend. I've known this friend for several months, and everytime we hung out he seemed being unable to stop complaining about things against him, things he's not satisfied with, things that other people do and say he think meaningless and unuseful. Soon after his short break I simply asked, "seems everything is meaningless for you, what sort do you reckon is meaningful?" "I don't know," so he replied, then kept on complaining as if this question were meaningless.

It's interesting that people of this world have never learned to appreciate. There are always things to complain, to be cynical about. When things don't go on their way, they complain how unfair others treat them, complain about God, as if all the faults are from God and hence He should do something about it. This is very dangerous, 'cause being cynical and complaint can degrade a person, worsen the beauty of personality. One with this mindset would even treat people around him as enemies without inspecting themselves and see if there is something he can change. Recently I'm reading a book called "I am David". One important paragraph reads, "Never let me hear you say it's someone else's fault. It often is, but you must never shirk your own responsibility. There's always something where you're at fault, too, and that fault you must discover and learn to recongize and take the consequences of it...both because it's the ONLY HONORABLE THING TO DO and also because IT'S THE EASIER WAY. You can't change others, but you can do something about a fault in yourself."

So I made a decision to forgive the mistakes and misunderstandings that those people did to me. They're Nora's friend, so I told her this is what I decide. At the same time I started to think about the mistakes I had had and immediately knew what I should do in the future. I did this not because of God, I made this decision out of my very own free will. Of course there are still a lot more about which I have been complaining, and just right now is the time to change, and I know it's never too late.

things to do

chatting with a friend about bike riding reminds me of lists of things i have been wishing to do, first and most important of all is bike around the island...this entire year lots of changes have happened in my life, and next year will be the year of making wishes come true!
so, after the end of the year, the first thing in hand is going to be a good road bicycle! yahey!!!

The Day After Triathlon

Today is the second day after coming back from Taidong’s triathlon. It was awesome: nice home stay, the weather was pretty good, fresh air, good challenge from the game, and of course the most importantly, good running and biking and swimming mates from Zhi-Le (智樂) swimming pool without whom, I might never have come up with the idea of going for triathlon. Even if I went alone, I believe I would feel as lonely during the game as when I bike-rode alone from central Tainan to the mountain in rain several years back! It was just awesome, till now still feels like a dream.

Put back to what happened back then: there were actually three different levels of triathlon during the weekend. The hardest one was done on Friday, and the game was 3.8km swimming, 180km bike riding and 42.2km running, 226km in total; the intermediate and Saturday one (also the one I went for) was 123km (which was 2.2km swimming, 100km bike riding and 21km running); and Sunday was 51.5km ( 1.5km swimming, 40km bike riding and 10km running). Before the game I myself didn’t feel quite much when heard of 226km this astronomical number, not until when we got there and saw the runners or cyclists did I feel stunned by the atmosphere and…the facial expressions on runners. By the time we got there the runners had done 12 hours, and the game was 18 hours, runners had to hit the final point by 12am. It was truly a challenge, it was hard, and our coaches Jovi, 小杜 and two others managed to finish it well in time! I think among all of us, they are truly iron men!

We had more folks going for the 123km than others, and we did it as well. It was quite fun, because when I was on my bike finishing the 97th km my rear tire got pierced AGAIN! There was no way for me to run back with my bike held up high, I just kept pedaling and telling myself to keep doing it, even die trying! Finally I managed to get back and was prepared to start running, but unsurprisingly found I could just walk instead of run. My both legs had serious muscle cramp, it hurt even walking. The first 5km was really slow, and all what I could do was keep feeding myself lemon piece, water with salt, energy drinks and some ointment to ease the cramp, then kept running. Thanks to our supply team, they had been all the way supporting us with energy drinks and muscle treatment. Sometimes they also drove and passed by us with encouraging shout. It feels really good with partners and that make me feel that I am not alone. That is the feeling I love.

The third day was 51.5km game, all folks (A Da, Nancy, Fang Yi and Zhi Xiang) had done very well, especially A Da who had practiced bike-riding with his cheap, heavy and poorly equipped bike and on the day of game he started out really really fast, overtook many others against wind, even when the road was going up!

Some of us including me, A Da, Jack, Nancy planned to buy ourselves a new road bike, the idea of which has been going around on my brain! ^^ Jovi said bike frame is the first and the most important thing to consider. Today I had secretly spent sometime surfing on the internet looking for information on bicycle forums and blogs. I think I probably will go for sloping frame, made by Giant maybe. Next to consider will be front and rear hubs and bearing..... hoo! Really looking forward to getting a new bike and the practices!!! Excited!!

Not A Christian Anymore

On my msn I put this title which drew curious messages from Francie and Jo. Francie is my first Christian sister I met in Baptism Church in Tainan. She is a good, generous and cat-loving sister. She bought her home on loan, while her mother and younger sister currently live in the United States. Jo is one of Bernice's friends, I met her in a badminton game and we'd been to movies twice, she's a nice, clever and talkative girl.

To them both I explained why I made this decision, and especially with Francie, we had a long discussion about it. Here in the following is the content we discussed earlier yesterday with the format being slightly reorganised (it looks a bit messy if I simply copy and paste the conversation from the msn history.)

Yet before going on, I would like to share what I came to realise this afternoon about Trinity.

During the past few months I have been thinking about such things including the meaning of Trinity which has confused me a lot and is truly hard to understand. This afternoon when I was drinking a mug of instant coffee a sudden thought ran through my mind. I picked up the wrapping bag of the instant coffee which was written "2 in 1". My thought started rushing in my mind..."2 in 1...the previous type I drank was 3 in 1..."

3 in 1, coffee, coffee mate and sugar. Yes, coffee mate is not the same as sugar, and surely sugar cannot be coffee, yet these "three in one" makes a cup of drink with good flavour. Isn't this just the same as Trinity? Father, Son and Holy Spirit, they are in one, yet each of them is different individual. They are of different essence, which means the idea of Trinity is incorrect and not reasonable at all.

I still believe the existance of God, yet with the unclear and tricky meaning of Trinity, I then have decided to be a non-Christian.

---

Francie: WHAT??? what do you mean by not a Christian anymore???

Eugene: Hmm..don't want to be a Christian, surprised right? I'm surprised at this decision I made

Francie: what happened?? I mean, you knew God, and you knew God is real.. right?

Eugene: no, I wouldn't say I know God because He is much greater beyond my understanding. there are some reasons I have been thinking before making this decision

Francie: come on let's talk about it...I hate to say a brother falls away. I mean, though we don't talk that much, but you're always gonna be my brother in Christ
Eugene: sure, but....can we talk later because I need to take a nap ^^

Francie: ha.. ok.
Eugene: I know, I can feel that from you. catch you later

Francie: anyways, let's find a time to talk! happy napping!
Eugene: I mean I believe you. sure!

Eugene: back
Francie: that was quick...ok... talk. What made you decide this??

Eugene: oh you're online. I thought you left
Francie: just got back on again.

Eugene: back. Sorry I was replying email to a supplier. well....let me think where to start....probably for two main reasons
Francie: ?

Eugene: one is about Trinity. the other is about people……sorry four reasons, scientific perspective and…how to say.....the fourth one I can explain, but I don't know the "title"

Francie: well, I don't deny the fact that after become a Christian, we still have problems... probably more conflicts than before we are Christians. But remember when you believed?? it was simple faith... it was not about science, or how well we understand Trinity... or anything else. it was simple touch by the Holy Spirit... and we believe, right?

Eugene: sorry I will reply late occasionally, just some telephone calls coming in sometimes…I know what you mean, but I can't ignore what science says. for me I believe if God is greater than anything, science and religion should be both included in Him. some people said "Big Bang is a big joke". I don't like a comment like this, those scientists have spent their whole life time researching

Francie: well, there are A LOT of things science still can't explain... maybe one day when science can explain it all it will include God. ^__^ that's how I see it...

Eugene: like devote their life on it. And a Christian can simply put our their hands and say it's a big joke, I can't agree with this

Francie: but brother, we don't have to agree with everything ah...it's OK to disagree....

Eugene: yes I know what you said, so I wouldn't decide this just because of this one reason. maybe you would think this funny, but for me it's different. a question I asked John before was animal appeared first or Adam

Francie: doesn't it say in Genisis??

Eugene: some people told me it doesn't matter which appeared first, but this is important for me

Francie: I think animal first... if I remember correctly....

Eugene: in chapter one it said animal was made first, then chapter 2 God wanted the man to have friends, so He made animal from, mud or dust…I think it's mud…it's important for me to know as much as possible, or it would be blind faith

Francie: actually faith is sort of blind... haha. look at Hebrews 11:1

Eugene: which version?...oh...

Francie: I think it all says about the same... about faith is believing what you don't see with your eyes...that's pretty blind... in the world's way. I think it's all about if we want kingdom living or world living...

Eugene: I admit I don't have much faith, haha

Francie: I mean, we do live in this world, but we are not OF this world. it's not easy, and it takes pure faith sometimes to convince myself not to give up.

Eugene: give up what?

Francie: give up living in the kingdom... not let the world's way affect my thinking or actions

Eugene: world's way....I think this is about another reason I have. I see many people who always ask for prayers because of the "suffering" from their working places or conflicts between them and landlords maybe. I noticed it seems easy for them to see other people as "enemy" when they come to argument or conflict, but they themselves don't seem to see their own problems. I told my pastor before leaving the church, I said "it feels like Christians are like a bunch of kids being spoiled", they don't see their own blind spots

Francie: nobody's perfect, and Christians certainly are not perfect people
Eugene: always asking for prayers to "pray for their enemy", whom is human and loved by God too

Francie: and we should hate the sins, not the people. God loves all people...and want no one to perish

Eugene: I know no one is perfect, but that shouldn't be an excuse. i've been missing John a lot even now. One day in their house he told me, God helps us pick up our blind spots. I forgot next on what exactly he told me, I just remember he said we need to be aware of our own blind spot too. I always remember this. when I found many people don't seem to notice their own problems, always thinking they're "fighting with Satan, with enemies", I just can't stand that...and talk of "fighting with enemies", "suffering", "under devil's attack", I asked my pastor "if we always think our daily issues as attacks or suffering, what about those who died in civil wars in Africa"? have you watched Blood Diamond? Blood Diamond is a movie talking about diamond being dug and transferred and sold to Western nations. they get huge profits from that. and because so many people want that profit

Francie: sometimes fighting against ourselves is fighting with satan ah...when we try to put death our own flesh every single day

Eugene: lots of kids are grabbed to armed forces as child soldiers. and killings happen even nowadays

Francie: I know...

Eugene: killings happen, those kids cannot enjoy their life and die of very young age. and we here in taiwan, dealing with our daily duties, having problems in our working places and then go to church asking people for prayers…for me we are spoiled kids. i'm not putting hardship on myself, but we do need to look into our hearts and ask ourselves "have I done wrong? what can I do to change it?" instead of asking for prayers

Francie: actually, I think that's Holy Spirit's job... He will remind us what we did wrong...but sadly a lot of people ignore His voice...and refuse to change...

Eugene: being blinded right? so for me that's 50-50. God has done his part, His 50%, and we each has our 50%. we need to listen, need to inspect our hearts…to be honest I have no idea at all about how the kingdom would be like. I just know I live in NOW. there are many unpeaceful things going around. probably I can do something, this is what I wish to do when I can afford. you know this summer I had 13 days holiday, originally I planned to volunteer in Nepal as a teacher in an orphanage; but the visa fee was too high, a bit over my budget, so I had to give it up.....

Francie: what a shame! but I think God sees your heart..He will open doors for you, but you can't choose to walk away from God lah...

Eugene: well, this is another issue, sometimes I think I believe in God, but probably not the God the church told me. He is much much greater than that

Francie: well, the most important thing is your relationship with God, not the church. I mean, we are the church

Eugene: sometimes the teachings at church make me wonder "is that really what God will do?"

Francie: you can question, and you can ask God. I know He will be very happy to let the HS tell you the right answer

Eugene: but you are influenced by people in church, right? I mean, you wanna do something, but “the authority” has different view and hence doesn't agree with what you wanna do. what would you do? would you give up on something you have considered and prayed for so long and finally you can do it, or would you just go for it because it's between you and God?

Francie: well, painfully enough, but we do have to submit to authority…it depends on what things…but I will think you should definitely do whatever God asks you to do. Sometimes even your pastor doesn't understand, but if you know clearly that's what God wants, just do it

Eugene: if you put into deep thinking about what you're gonna do, even “the authority" does not agree, will you do it anyway? I mean when you're sure that's what God prepares for you

Francie: just do it ah... unless you need the church help you do it, then you need to listen to your pastor. because he has the authority to say no

Eugene: some friends told me, I don't have to let the word influence me. I was the one who allowed myself to be sad, to let the words go into my brain. but if I can avoid the words, if I can let the words not influence me, then the "love" we say every time we meet would be meaningless…

Francie: you can leave the church, but you can't leave God lah... being a Christian is not about going to church, but is all about having a relationship with the living God. that's all I can say

Eugene: …you love your mom, and what your mom says would definitely influence you for sure, because you love her. so, listen to God we have to, but the influence does not lose its power, influence between people

Francie: church problem is church problem... every church has that. but read your bible, and we do need fellowship with brothers and sisters...so I would say in the long run you still need to find a church to go to.

Eugene: and this....is one more reason which ....is about Trinity. Trinity this word was invented by Tertullian a Latin godfather as so called by many people. this word didn't come from Jesus didn't come from God, the Bible doesn't have this word either

Francie: I think it's just what we human use to describe how the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are one. nothing wrong with the word, but also nothing too important about the word, I mean, it's just a word

Eugene: it's a word saying Father , Son and Holy Spirit are of the same essence.

Francie: yes, but they are, so it really doesn't matter how we call it bah...cause either way it doesn't not change the fact that the 3 are 1

Eugene: the word was raised about the 3rd century, when Tertullian mentioned this word and Catholic started using this word intensely. there was the other side, who thought Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are of different essence.

Francie: what? but catholic doesn't believe Jesus is God neh...

Eugene: they have different hierarchies

Francie: they think Jesus is a prophet... no??

Eugene: I don't know about Catholic, so let's not talk about this

Francie: well, I believe what Jesus says. He said He and the Father are one ah! so that's what I believe

Eugene: just like.....at church many people say Catholic worship Mary, but I asked some Catholic friends, Taiwanese and Spanish, they don't know each other and they say they do not worship Mary. so actually i'm not sure if we have misunderstood them or not, this is another issue

Francie: really? that's good to know!!

Eugene: yes. I was confused in the beginning, but after sometime I realised it is because we lack sufficient communication, and let misunderstanding take over…but back to Trinity, the other group who believed Father Son and HS are of different essence. they had serious argument with the one who believed Trinity…it was a long story anyway, the other group was slaughtered or "cleaned up" after Constantine became king

Francie: and, your point is? why is this bothering you??

Eugene: we have no choice to listen to different voice. it's like we are destined to believe something, do something because of people's decision

Francie: wrong. we have a choice to choose to listen to God's voice...

Eugene: God's voice written in the Bible which was from Tertullian's side and which becomes mainstream nowadays?

Francie: no, God's voice in your heart might based on your knowlege from the bible, but sometimes He speaks to you directly. you just have to senstive and open to the Holy Spirit

Eugene: oh, this I agree, but what about Bible? which is called God's word and was from Tertullian's side?
Francie: what about it? you mean is it 100% true?

Eugene: yes, but this is not really what i'm talking about here. I mean, the other group died…
Francie: well, I, personally believe that the bible is 100% true

Eugene: …it was because of political issue, I don't think it was from God. we received the knowledge of Trinity because of the death of the other group

Francie: it's what we've got. but I think we do need God's help to read the bible. brother, do you believe that God is always in control??? if He allows we to have this bible we have, I think He knows better than we do.

Eugene: I believe God's in control, but I don't think our merciful God allows killings to happen. I believe Father, Son and Holy Spirit, but talk of Trinity, to be honest, i'm still doubting it. when my father asked me about this, I didn't know how to answer it. he thinks religion is just about political issue. so was Trinity, I can't explain why God allowed the other group to be killed if He is merciful. it is not that I don't want to believe, it's I don't know if I should believe it

Francie: our God is not only a merciful God, but He's also just. God gave us free will, we can choose to sin

Eugene: free will to kill those who keep different views?

Francie: well, it's not God's will to kill them, but human has free will... and human are selfish..

Eugene: I agree, if like you said, it's not God's will, then the Trinity we believe nowadays, is due to human cause…hey by the way, i'm really glad you texted me first. it's nice to talk with you again

Francie: anytime brother

Eugene: do you think people might forget to be sincere after having belief?

Francie: belief should make people more sincere, that's what I think

Eugene: we know people are not perfect beings. but sometimes....I wonder if we are afraid of being known we are not perfect…I mean we don't want to let our anger show because "we are Christian"

Francie: ha, we will never be perfect till the rapture takes place and we're transformed into our eternal bodies. I still get angry ah... haha! Christians are not perfect people, there's no such a thing as perfect people lah

Eugene: or probably it's just me feeling that I guess....sometimes I don't want my negative feeling show, but I have to admit by doing so it feels very lonely because found no one to talk
Francie: God wants us to be real to Him. and as your sister, I would want you to be real to me, too

Eugene: that's why I can talk to you all about this, haha!

---

The above was what we talked yesterday. For now I believe I have defined myself as non-Christian anymore. Still believe in the existence of God though, I believe God is much greater than we can describe. No one can define God, not even Tertullian.

friends

i love you, my friends =)

Belief

I had come to the local supplier in Hu-Kou twice this week already to discuss some design issues. This place is some 70 km away from Taipei, and this is a good distance for motorbike riding, which means, yes, I hop on my bike and ride this good distance every time i have to come. Well I just love riding and riding is one of the most enjoyable things to me in the world, surely there will be 101% that I will buy a cool nice ride when my savings account allows me.

I went swimming this morning as usual. Before me and Sylvia left, she changed in the dressing room, and I was waiting outside looking at a motorbike of American style, finding that its styling is actually potential to be modified into a mini chopper (its displacement is 150 cc, and it’s slightly smaller in size, that’s why I call it mini). I thought to myself, ”it can be a chopper! Oh Eugene, no, you’re not going to buy one for modification…you’re not going to…” Lol, of course I’m not going to, though i’m really itchy trying it.

One day in about July or August last year, I was on my motorbike heading back to Taipei from Yulon Motor in San-Yi, that was Friday I still can remember, and the weather was a bit gloomy. When I waited at a traffic light a Mormon stopped by my side, introduced himself and then started talking to me. He invited me to their chapel for talk about “their religious view” (why I said THEIR religious view is because Jesus seems unimportant to them). As the traffic light was gonna turn green, I gave them my number and then pulled away. About two weeks later one of their missionaries in Banciao Chapel gave me a call and asked me when I would be free. Then we set up a weekend for the talk. During that time I wasn’t at all expecting any surprise from this religion as I already decided Jesus is my only one. Plus, I was not that interested in their religious view, and the people I met there were not that…probably life-transformed? They gave me a feeling that, for example, they are happy or excited, but they daren’t let it out like jumping or shouting, and this is what made me think “how so” instead of truly put my eyes on their bible. After that meeting I tried avoiding picking up their phone calls, even name the number “NEVER GET THIS ONE” just in case I would accidentally pick up their call (bad enough, aren’t I?).

It was after 7 or 8 months I deleted the number from my contact list. They hadn’t called me during that period and I decided it was safe to delete it. I thought they probably knew I had been avoiding them. Then yesterday they called me again!!!! As the second or third time I accidentally picked it up! It was another gentleman called Michell, who asked me if I had grown up in the United States because of my accent. To me it was a praise, because that meant my imitation is successful. I told him I treat myself as a monkey always imitating different accents.
“Monkeys do imitate, right?” I said, and he laughed out loud.

Just like the first time he would like to schedule for 20-min talk. Instead of avoiding it, this time I would like to bring some questions to the discussion. After all these years since my faith in Jesus, I think I have become from a believer to a doubter. Still, I believe in the existence of God, but I can’t help wonder why God let certain situations like somebody being murdered by others.

Here are some questions I have listed and will ask the Mormon:
1. What is your purpose being a missionary?
2. What do you expect from this belief?
3. Do you think your life being transformed?
4. Do you have family in this belief as well? If not, what do you expect this belief is going to bring them?
5. Do you missionaries love each other? Why do you love?
6. You don’t need to be taught to love your family, your schoolmates, your childhood friends. Especially childhood friends, you together have gone through something before coming to this point, for example, fighting, hanging out together, chasing after the same girl, running in the rain, singing songs…what is the difference between this love and the love you are told by the bible to give others?
7. Do you pray when you’re suffering something bad? Can I have some examples regarding the badness you have gone through?
8. God loves us, you agree. If you were a captive, or your parents were captives of terrorists, and they were killed. You did pray, but they were still killed in the end. Think about this, and think about those who were killed in the massacre or Sierra Lione, could you please tell me “where was God?” “Does God not love them?”
9. Do you agree with the authority being assigned by God as the bible says? If yes, why does Chinese communist still exist in the world nowadays? Mao Ze-Dong killed millions of people some of whom I believe were good people, does God not love them?
I wouldn’t say I expect the meeting with them, but in certain level I expect the conversation and the outcome after that meeting. I told pastor I will cease going to CCCA to spend some time looking for answers to the questions in my heart. To be objective, I will listen to answers from every possible resource, including Christian and non-Christian.

Refreshing time in Hong Kong

starbucks time spent in Yu King Sam Sing, waiting for Miss Ng for key. this was also perfect time writing blog and reading book.

I didn’t feel anything while arrived in Hong Kong last night, because I have visited this place the third time, thought there shouldn’t be any problem. As the flight set off in the evening and was already well beyond the working time of the lady to whom my aunty handed the key which was for me, I had to spend one night at the home of my cousin Lin Yu-Fang. Thanks to her, or I wouldn’t know where to stay!
We haven’t met for a long time. After arriving her home we spent a great time chatting and telling of our recent life. She married here and has been working here for over two years. She told me very often she wished to be back to Taiwan, as Hong Kong is small and a condensed place with people, there are not many places available for true relaxing and refreshing. The entertainment of most Hong Kong people is probably shopping, to the point that, for example of her parents-in-law, even when they visited Taiwan they didn’t appreciate much about tea time and calla lily on Yang Ming Mountain. They still wanted to go shopping, which is what they have been doing all these years. For me I told of my recent condition, mostly my relationship problem. All what I said was just description, and things of this kind is only description, no one can come to any conclusion about what you should do or taking sides, you know.
But I’m still grateful for having this chance to be here. This is a great refreshing time, ‘cause I‘ve been working for nearly three years, and the most horrifying fact is I seem to have started to get used to my current status already, which means NOTHING CHANGES in my life. That is probably why I felt a bit anxious and nervous before coming here because I haven’t spoken Cantonese for a long time. Yet I know I have to go through this for some stimulation so that I won’t get rotten away by my old habit. Feeling nervous though, my Cantonese seems good as before (lol), feeling awkward, but I like it.
I managed to arrive in Tsuen King Circuit (荃景圍天橋) and fetched the key from miss Ng. She’s a nice Hong Kong lady, can’t speak much Chinese, but this forms a great chance for me to practice mine. Jolly good!
I’m now sitting at Starbucks in 愉景新城 for vanilla latte and pistachio & cranberry bar, with my Ghost Hunter book with me. To my attention is the sentence which says at page 116,
“…He (Krukoslik) thanked the fire and the antlered ones for the food, and everyone did the same, while Renn mumbled a prayer to her guardian. Then the eating began.”
This scene drew my attention quite deeply. Krukoslik was the leader of Mountain Hare Clan, while Renn was the mage of Raven Clan. They were from different clans of different religious believes, yet they both mumbled prayers to thank their own guardians for taking care of them. They put their guests in good care, didn’t ask their guests to follow their own religious belief. They respected each other, and for me this is meant to be like that. Now I have come to the point to go to church or not. Not only because of the “Trinitas” that revealed to me the fact about Trinity, but also because sometimes I don’t feel the folks at church are that close to each other in their hearts. Once I was told by my first pastor Sue Newman, “no matter what, I still love you, because in the Bible God told me to do so!” This saying is quite attractive, but LOVE is supposed to be something out of human nature, another word you are NOT told to love, you love naturally and automatically, you love just because you love, or the persons (parents and friends) you love make you love them, they don’t force you to love! Isn’t that weird that somebody says they love you, with the Bible behind them (or a whip maybe)? Besides, I’ve found that human relationship has to be founded on something that makes their friendships stronger and steadier. Before the relationship is strong enough, they have to go through something together, so that they have common memory, same experience, same things to talk about and even complain about. I noticed some people at church are sort of afraid of complaining before others because complaint would make them look unreligious or make them seem to not have enough faith in Jesus. But, without this, without talking our problems out loud, there seems no way for others to share the load with us. Without sharing, no TRUST can lay between us and friends. Then how can friendships be stronger and more endurable?
This is another reason why I come to Hong Kong. I need a good time to think about it before making decision. No matter I decide to stay or not, I have to be alone to get my brain clear.
Coffee mug is bottomed up, time to go now. There is a Toy Rus around the corner and I’m going to select some good toys for Antoinette, my beloved niece.

too many ads on the street, feeling stressful

feeling grateful for living in taiwan simply by looking at this scene

here it is! the department store has two toy shops. my colleague asked me to help him buy some toys

the first shop

C3PO and R2D2

the second shop

moon and jupiter

Chek Chu, i came here with Becky and her boyfriend

Becky and her boyfriend are a cute and funny pair

Terracota!

this shop seems to have been making terracotta armis.

i think Anet would like this one =)

Becky told me a lot of HK movies had been filmed here until the appearance of starbucks

which one was king kong?

Scuba Diving - August 10th (day of final exam)

early morning, ready for hot spring


arrived at the hot spring site


dawn

in Taiwan a saying goes: daughter was father's lover in their previous life. i saw this in Tai-Cai and his daughter. i love this scene.

Pekinese (a breed of dog) and sleeping beauty

the big thing that followed hot spring was our final test. it was a big day, but me and Bo-Han felt pretty relaxed.

one more shot before the test

here we go

Monster the coach

poor Bo-Han, his hands accidentally touched fire corals on the first day and then got extremely swollen the next day, yet he didn't go to doctor until the third day. the doctor told him one day later he could probably be infected with cellulitis! he had washed his hands with his pee, yet it couldn't manage to ease the swollen.

looked like baseball gloves

the pretty girl had to give up the class due to tympanitis. what a shame...

we're back!

should light a cigarette and celebrate for our great success!


but we chose to have sun bathing in the front yard of the fire department!

one white-skinned pig and the other dark

octopus! (or Squidward?)

don't forget to put ketchup or wasabi!

wig of the year

Wei-Jie (one of our colleagues) visited us on Green Island. he came on his BMW R1150GS and Yu-Jie couldn't take her eyes off the bike.

Bo-Hand and the bike

Yu-Jie and the bike

i didn't try it on because i plan to buy my own one (and i'm very sure i will buy one) in the near future

menu in Ice Jail

our ice shavings

ready to leave Green Island

oh no....not again....


the only and the most beautiful girl firefighter in Tai-Dong county

salty ice cream. it was just awesome! Bo-Han bought 30 more for his family!

train to Taipei

"we're gonna miss you, Tai-Dong!"

Final exam last night and today, except for two of us who quit (one choked underwater and the other has ear infection), the rest passed the exams! Yahey!!!