November

I'm on the way to Hualian for Taiwan King of Mountain bicycle race tomorrow. I have been feeling partly excited because I love challenge and am going to race with a pro team I have newly joined, partly nervous because the challenge is tough like a blood stained beast (more than 5% steep and over 27% the last 10km climb to the top), partly anxious because of recent devastating news of the one who suffer from the lost of family. One who is a friend of mine has lost his mother, the other who had been an unfamiliar neighbour passed when he was running a marathon. Rumour said he was pushed by his colleague and ran reluctantly while he was having a bit cold. Whatever the true reason, he was only 45, a father of two and a husband.

This saddens me enough as I myself am a father and husband too, and I love challenge. It's almost a cliche saying life is short, life is fragile, but when death comes with its blood stained teeth, resistance is futile.

What is life? What is the purpose of our life? What can we do to make it count? What can me and my family do to be ready for the next journey after this life? All these questions have been circulating in my mind, and I still haven't found any answer satisfying enough to even just one question.

New Goal

The night sky marathon held at Tainan this year can be considered as a turning point because Canlace finally agreed that we can make a plan to move to Tainan.

Just like the previous two years, I biked down from Banciao which took me 17 hours (including countless breaks) due to the extremely hot weather. I arrived there around 6pm, by the time I got there Canlace had already wandered and eaten around the city with her best friend. She took high speed railway and got to Tainan about 10am in the morning. Since the marathon started at 4pm, well before I got there. I might as well let it go and instead spend quality time taking my wife around the city. It wasn't until then did I realise that I am so deeply obsessed about this city where I had grown up and learned and experienced so much during my college year.

The plan would be of two-year, roughly. Ever since our discussion of the possibility of moving to Tainan, the plan has become my new goal after the previous year's "226km super triathlon in 11.5 hours" or "100km ultra marathon in 13 hours". Living in Tainan has been my dream, and now it's about time to fulfill it.

Nothing to Envy

Recently I have been reading the book "Nothing to Envy" by Barbara Demick, and...seriously, if North Korea Government would open to the world, I would wish to go there and help...

If they would...

Evening Marathon at Tainan

There I go again, I’m going to bike-ride from Banciao to Tainan in 14 hours followed by a full marathon. It’s a once a year event representing my deep love for Tainan, or the long gone life I once had.

Though I have kept telling myself not to worry, I still can’t help feel nervous because riding such a long distance contains safety issue which has been haunting me not to forget that I’m a father of my son and I should treasure my life. And I usually start missing my son as soon as I go for a travel. I still have no idea how to deal with this emotion.

But, I need refreshment, challenge, I need something exciting, something to spark my passion for everything. Still can’t believe I’m so cool down now. I didn’t used to be like this!

I have done such long rides twice: two-day ride on road bike in 2012, and one-day ride on time trial in 2013. This year I’m going to do one-day ride on my road bike to prove that road bike is not a problem for me. Again, this is one of the things making me nervous!

Still two weeks to go. Lord, please stay with me.

It feels like my soul has been trapped here, where I am, not my body.

I need some change, but not until very recently have I realised that I can do nothing at all without good enough financial condition. Freedom ain't freedom no more without the help of money, this is what I have come to understand now.

I need a good change, but until then I need to get myself free from financial issue first.