Chiaolin's mom and Steven, handsome groom
there she is, Chiaolin!
Chiaolin and Steven. she's beautiful in wedding gown
paternal and maternal families and new couples lining to make a toast
cutting cake symbolises two hearts melting together
end of wedding the new couples greeted and delivered candies
it felt complicating as soon as i got to tainan away from which i had been for 6 years. well, i had made twice visits here when dating with Nora, but those were short. so far i haven't made it a long stay. the church friends i met today were Becky and Sako, Francie and Sue were not there, i was disappointed, let along Amy, Steve and even John Newman, my first pastor.
on my way back to Taipei, i couldn't help thinking that "Chiaolin seems to have received the life she'd ever dreamed of, what about me?" things like moving to the US and marriage are what i am still pursuing, but things have gone confusing these days: if i'm going to the US, what about my family here? am i gonna marry to a girl who is wilful and am i gonna be able to tolerate that? is PhD necessary for me or not? i want my life fresh and special, when will it for me to throw away the oars forever? i used to think that my future and dream should be priority of my life, but the hesitation grows when seeing my grandparents and other taiwanese elders under heavy healthcares, am i gonna be able to stand it one day my parents go on the same way? ever since met Amy, her independence and personality have become my standard to look for a long term relationship. obviously i haven't found one, and i don't know if i should keep insisting on it. during the banquet me and a couple talked about marriage. the wife told me she's been living an independent and freedom life due to the diversity in her home. her father is from indonesia, most of the paternal family have been there and hence no trace of "family thing" is in her family, which is totally different from her husband's conservative one. she suggested me to pray to God whose answer is always the best and of course far better than our wills. i told her about the line thing, and she reckoned this is what i think, and so i have to try my best to let go. this does make sense, because if we rank our thoughts as the best one, then we can't tolerate and be happy anymore. if we let go and think for others, that's time to find happiness. strange but true, it does remind me of lowering myself for the better good.
still have no idea about future, but...i will make the best to do my part. God will deal with the rest.
